The Straight Dope

So, since I'm home now and don't have to type on my phone I can give you guys a proper story on exactly where I've been for the past week.  So, here's how it happened.

I was at the local university doing some paperwork, and was just on my way back to my car to go pick up some lunch when I started getting some really bad chest pains.  I thought it was just some heartburn or maybe an anxiety attack or something, but I was sure it would pass.  As I rode up the elevator to the top floor of the parking garage, which was where I had parked, the pain got steadily worse.  Outside, on the roof of the garage I fell down and decided I should probably rest for a second until this whole thing passed.  It did not, in fact, get better.  A nice lady and a nice man found me leaned against a parking barrier trying to catch my breath and managed to convince me to go see a doctor, but not until I'd gotten back up and fallen over again in a grim defiance that is so typical of me.

The nice man took me to the university clinic, where I was thrown into a room, put on an EKG, poked prodded and told, under no uncertain terms, they had no idea what was wrong with me and wanted me the hell out of there since I was a liability and they weren't equipped to deal with emergencies.  They called an ambulance for me, I waved goodbye to the nice man and I was transported VERY SLOWLY to the hospital by a pair of very nice EMTs who told me it sounded like I had some really bad chest cramps.

In the emergency room I was again poked prodded and hooked up to an EKG machine, then eventually I was x-rayed (they had to call the guys twice).  by then my fabulous roommates were there holding my hand and telling me everything way okay and taking bets on what was wrong with me.  One had "Anxiety Attack" the other had "Chest cramps".  Then the doctor came in and said, "Well, you've got a collapsed lung."  Oh the laughs that were had.

I had gotten a spontaneous pneumothorax, which apparently happens when you get a tiny hole in your lung, and your chest cavity fills with air, which forces your lung to collapse due to the pressure.  If you ever saw Three Kings then you'll remember the guy who got shot and had to keep venting his chest, or he'd die.  Well it was basically the same thing, except I didn't get shot, it happened for literally no discernible reason whatsoever.  They kicked my roommates out of the room, and then a very terse surgeon rolled me onto my side, cut an incision between my ribs and rammed 12 inches of rubber tubing into my chest.  He didn't even buy me dinner first.

I have since spent the last week in the hospital draining goop and air from my chest cavity and watching a weeklong NCIS marathon (I wanna be Ziva when I grow up!) while slowly recuperating.  My roommates took shifts staying with me, and then my mom flew 1500 miles to come see me and stayed with me all week.  I have recuperated fine and finally managed to make it home Monday evening, a bit sore, but very glad to be home.

In the week I was in the hospital my pageviews doubled, I got 5 new followers and I received tons of support from the gaming community when I managed to post on my phone in my horribly misspelled and uncapitalized posts uploaded from my phone.  I want to especially thank Porky for pimping my Radical story on his blog and Mike (Who I don't have a link for because I am a terrible person) and my very good friend Camsy Wamsy for all the worry and concern she's been throwing at me for this week.

The Radical story will continue shortly (For anyone who wants to know how I got the last one up while sick, I borrowed a laptop and was up till 3:40 am that night writing it up) and I hope that everyone enjoys it.  Thank you all again for being super awesome, and if there's any word of advice that I can give after my experiences this past week, it's this.

HEAVY FLAMER!  It solves all problems.

PS (Just for C'nor): Radical actually takes place several decades before The Defense of Kornaria City and is something of a background piece on the Cleansing Fire Commandery and Inquisitor Isimbard Kane.  This is before Kora Halquin developed her allergy and was just a Sister Superior in the commandery rather than one of its commanding officers.  You'll notice that in the latest update everyone's favorite Cannoness (or at least mine) Angelica is still a Seraphim, though that doesn't seem to have improved her mood overly much.